Our Research

We are a committee of connoisseurs of conundrums. Our research on telekinetic epilepsy has led to some groundbreaking findings. Or, at the very least, some interesting ones.

Our lead researcher, Dr. Reginald P. Bottomsworth, is an expert in the field of Telekinetic Epilepsy: The Study of Things That Move on Their Own. He is also a self-proclaimed expert in the field of extreme ironing. We're not sure what that means, but it sounds impressive.

Our Methodology

Our research involves a combination of rigorous experimentation and extensive napping. We have discovered that telekinetic epilepsy is caused by a combination of too many cheese sandwiches and not enough disco music.

Our Results

Our research has led to the development of a revolutionary new treatment for telekinetic epilepsy. It involves shouting at the afflicted person until they suddenly calm down. It's tried and true (or at least, that's what we tell the grant committee).

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